Silence of the Blog

My last blog entry was dated July 21. It felt like months already. Since the office server got nuts (coz of the networking bruhaha), nawalan na rin ako ng urge to update my blog (urge?? oops!). Guess, i was also busy with a lot of different things, mahirap magcategorize, pero smorgasbord ika-nga nila.

Kanina, i had this short but sweet talk with my partner in the programs department, mareng liza. Sa totoo lang, siya lang ata ang nag-aaprove ng "sort-of" romantic relationship ko ngayon. It always makes me smile everytime naaalala ko how she'll giggle at my first few minutes of narration, minsan nagbablush pa siya! aba, eh daig pa talaga ako sa pagkakilig niya. There was one thing she told me kanina that's really bugging me till now. Sabi ni mareng liza, nagdedeny lang daw ako sa sarili ko na i am in fact inlove with this guy right now. Para bang nagtatalo ang utak at puso ko. My heart's telling me that he's special, the apple of my eyes, but my mind on the other hand, is shouting "hoy! okey ka lang, ma-iinlove ka sa ganyang klaseng lalake?!". But i guess, the ultimate reason why i am afraid to fully surrender to this nagging feeling called "love", is that i do not want to hurt my family by making a rather "stupid" decision. Their opinions and feelings matter, and i know that encouraging this feeling would make them unhappy.

And so i told mare, basta hindi ko na lang muna idedefine the kind of "relationship" i am having with this guy. What i do know right now, is that whenever we're together masaya kami. And i think, there's really no need to rush things, or demand formalities. So, ang drama ko ngayon, "live for the moment."

Kanina rin nakakatawa yung big boss namin. She suddenly remembered the programs department! she asked me and liza what the department needs! grabe, may himala! seriously though, nakakalungkot nga na hindi na kami nabibigyang atensyon these past few years. I mean, hindi sa pagbubuhat ng silya, pero we tried to be as independent as possible. We make things happen even if wala naman talagang binibigay sa aming direksyon. Kaya nga biglang humirit si big boss na, what do we need daw, or if we need her help pa since we can easily earn our own funds naman! yes, we do need your help also. Maybe not so much, the help itself, but the feeling that we still matter to you, to the organization. (naks!) i hope things will really get a whole lot better this time...

Technology sucks sometimes. Yung outdated cellphone ko, pinatutunayan pagiging luma niya. Nagloloko na naman! grrrr! kaya tuloy hindi na ko nakahabol sa gig ni odet kanina (aww, sorry ode, next time pramis i'll be there). I wonder natuloy kaya sina dinah at les??

Bukas, we're off to Pampanga! (with curt and liz). May outreach ang Synergia sa mga Aeta communities. I am terribly excited! Actually, monday pa lang excited na ko. Isa talaga sa mga misyon ko sa buhay ang makapaglingkod sa mga minorities. I hope this will be the start of the realization of my dream.

People i currently miss: Tich! mau, ate pher, jepoy, bogie